Engrish

[Nemesis]

nightmare75 said:

This thread is currently under the construction.

Speaking of that...

www.mugen-power.com/en/index.html

Edit: This message is directed at any Portuguese that knows or is going to learn English:


FOR FUCK'S SAKE, LEARN HOW TO SAY THE NUMBER 3!!! IT'S NOT PRONOUNCED "TREE", IT'S PRONOUNCED "THREE"!!

I'M SICK AND TIRED OF SOME GUYS WORKING AT MY PLACE THAT SAY THAT KNOW THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, AND SAY 3S (my company: 3S Solvay Shared Services) as "TREE ESS". LEARN HOW TO SAY IT, GODDAMMIT!!!!


Phew... that's better

[Rotary]

Hey, Indian people do it too.

[Lupin_IV]

The fake license statement from the back of a pirated DVD:

The copyright proprietor has licensed the film(including its soundtrack) comprised in DVD video disc for home use only. All other rights are resrved. The definitions of home use excluding the use of this DVD video disc as location such as cluds, coaches, hospital, hotels, oil riges, prisons and schools. Any unauthorized copying, editing, exhibition, renting, exchanging, hireing, lending, public performance, diffusion and/or broadcast of this DVD video disc or any part thereof is strictly prohibited and any such action establishes liability for a civil action and may give rise to criminal prosecution.

The saddest thing about this DVD is that it is fairly obvious* that it's a pirated copy of a pirated copy.
*It has the logos of two different pirating groups on it.

[nightmare75]

lulz

[Rotary]

LOWLZORZ^ULTIMURTE POWA!!!!1one

[trombgirl]

That's great Lupin!

There are tons of pirated/fake items out there and it is usually easy to spot them because the people who make them are DUMB! Like the fake Colgate scandal...

* The counterfeit toothpaste comes labeled as a 5 ounce (or 100 ml tube), a size not made or sold by Colgate in the United States.

* There are words on the package, "Manufactured by: COLGATE-PALMOLIVE (PTV) LTD., SOUTH AFRICA – 52 Commissioner Street, Boksburg, 1460."

* There may be several misspelled words on the product carton including: "isclinically," "SOUTH AFRLCA" and "South African Dental Assoxiation."

[Lupin_IV]

In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

From the Soviet Weekly:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 SovietRepublic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today -- no ice cream.

In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

In a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

In a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well talking.
Here speeching American.

On a Malaga freeway:
Locals for sale or rent.

In a hotel in Bruges:
Bathroom light operates with movement sensor. Turns off approx. 15 minutes after last registered move.

[DeltaMustang65]

This is awesome. lol, tootle...

[Lupin_IV]

dashiva.net/img/tokyo_breakfast.asf

[DeltaMustang65]

Much like SNL or MadTV, they really know how to run a joke into the ground.

[nightmare75]

What the hell did i just watch?

[Lupin_IV]

That's the pilot of a (obviously) Japanese show called Tokyo Breakfast, in which every episode would have taken place entirely during that family's breakfast. It did not become a series.

[nightmare75]

Thank the FSM for that. Jesus, that was terrible. The recurring joke wasn't even funny the first time.

Although I have to admit, I lul'd a little bit at "Nigga Gone Fishin!"

[Lupin_IV]

[½ A Gram]

(Stupid ass kid thinks 911's are better than the world).

I know it's old, but they are.

Other than that, I have to say one thing in this topic to summarize it entirely:

Yoda.