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Post by IGNIGNOC on Aug 3, 2007 2:09:18 GMT -5
That's just vile. I'm so happy that I don't have to work in a hospital.
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Post by DeltaMustang65 on Aug 4, 2007 16:51:27 GMT -5
Here's one that happened just yesterday. It's not vile, and I'm not sure it counts as a pwnage moment but here goes...
I was dropping a deuce at work, right? Just minding my own business, when someone came and tried to open the door (it was a single restroom, not one with stalls). Now, I figure that anyone with a brain in their head would realize that if the door is locked, the restroom is "occupado". Seems I have a bit too much faith in humanity, because the person started knocking on the door.
I thought to myself, "ok, this person is dumb" and was ready to continue going about my business, but more knocks came.
*Knock, knock, knock*
"Wooow, they still don't get it."
*Knock, knock, knock, knock*
At this point I stopped thinking to myself, and audibly said "OMG, what a retard..."
*Knockknockknock*
Again, more audibly than the previous, "What an idiot".
*Knock...knock...knock...knock...knock*
At this point I had finished taking extra long washing and drying my hands, and was wondering just what a fucktard like this LOOKS like. So I opened the door and to my utmost non-surprise...I saw a young crack-whore. And not just any crack-whore, either. This particular one is hospitalized from time to time, and has a habit of vanishing late in the night without anyone discharging her. This gets whatever poor nurse that is taking care of her in a lot of trouble. This whore also took off with a wheelchair when she vanished once. My hospital is already quite low on wheelchairs, and half the ones we DO have are badly damaged.
Anywho, to the pwnage. After making eye contact with her, I made a pretty horrible face, as if to convey my thoughts as to what a pitiful human being she was. I didn't actually make an effort, mind you, it came pretty naturally. I noticed that she was hooked up to several IVs, and was having trouble carrying around the pole they and the pump were hanging on. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm probably one of the most gentlemanly guys around, and I hold doors for people all the time. This time, though, I just couldn't. Another thing I couldn't do was keep myself from taking a nice long glance back to see the door close on her right smack in the face, nearly knocking her off her feet. One last thing I couldn't keep from doing is cracking a big grin about it while I walked off. I then immediately thought of this topic...PWNED! "I must post this when I get back!"
At first I felt I shouldn't have grinned, because there were a few nurses around. That didn't last long, because these nurses knew her, and thus hated the bitch. I still don't get why the dumbass couldn't use the restroom that was right next to her bed. Stupid whore deserves everything she gets.
I hate crackheads, can you tell? We get all too many of them where I work...
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Post by J Money on Aug 4, 2007 20:45:37 GMT -5
I got one that I remember (not entirely though)
It was about two years ago I think, and I was playing hockey. I lined up for a faceoff and luckily the other team's captain was lined up against me. So I skated up to him and was like "hey bitch" and then he threatened me and said he would hit me really hard.
So the ref then dropped the pucked and then I went in the corner for the puck a few seconds later, and wow the kid was actually coming for me. So he gets up a head of steam and tries to hit me but it didn't work out so well since I actually laid his ass out instead. Then I was like "What'd you say bitch?", and calmly skated away like nothing happened.
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Post by nightmare75 on Aug 4, 2007 23:45:24 GMT -5
Delta: If it was anyone but a crack whore with a history like that, it would have been kinda douchy. But getting nurses in trouble kinda pisses me off. They have a tough enough job as it is. Good work.
JMoney: Hockey ownage is always pretty funny
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Post by ckenp on Aug 5, 2007 2:31:53 GMT -5
I stopped by a friend's house one day after work, and this girl was there, Carrie. It was late in the day, and we went walking to find a better view of the sunset. We found a gap in the tree line that bordered a pasture. Above us the clouds stretched out like an afghan: knitted to reflect the sun's last light in rose and gold. Every stitch of sky was stunning; a better sunset I've never seen. I don't know if that counts as ownage, but it's the best sunset I've ever seen.
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Post by vitg on Aug 5, 2007 19:44:44 GMT -5
I understand completely what you are saying.
One night I was travelling towards Smithton with a bunch of mates in the Car when we saw strange lights in the sky.
We stopped and got out for a look, everyone else just kept on screaming past. Fools.
We got to see the best light show evar - a full on display of the Southern Lights ( Aurora Australis ).
The most amazing natural phenomonem I have ever seen.
Bar none.
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Post by ckenp on Aug 6, 2007 0:45:53 GMT -5
BTW, f***tard is my favorite insult word of all time. You rock.
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Post by Nemesis on Aug 22, 2007 18:09:04 GMT -5
I went karting today.
I didn't touch a kart in about 6 or 7 years, so I was a little rusty, but whatever...
I entered the track with 3 more guys (I didn't know them from anywhere, just as I wanted...), and I was preparing everything in regards for safety (helmet, safety belts). I was all pumped up to start the race.
We started in the pits, and I was waiting for the 2 guys in front of me to start, so that I could go, but when I was waiting, the ****head right behind me bumped my kart, and I was like: WTF? what's wrong with him.
I then realize it was a girl...
Anyway, we start the race, and the guy in 2nd place was too slow, so I tried to overtake him, but he has a different opinion, since he closes the apex, forcing me to brake, and making me lose my third place. I was mad...
Then I was trying to regain places, and I realize that the first place was already way ahead, so I decided to focus on the other guys. I overtook the girl shortly thereafter, since she was slow as hell...
Then, there I was, going to win time against the mother****er that didn't let me pass. I was winning a very big amount of time to him, but I did a corner too much on the inside, and clipped the inner barrier. He hears it, and looks back...
He then realizes it was me, ready to outrun his sorry ass. He gets PISSED, literally, looking like someone who just listened: HERE'S JOHNNY!
When I get fairly close to him, I try to overtake him to no avail, since every gap I try to find to overtake him, he closes it. I was getting really mad at this point.
At some point, I was almost able to overtake him on the inside on the pits corner, but as he sees me, he swerves the kart to the inside which, if I didn't brake, would grind me between his kart, and the inside rail.
I then think to myself: That's it. You'll get your ass handed to you NEMESIS STYLE". And I keep trying to overtake him on the inside, but I can't; but just then, he makes a small mistake, compromising a good corner exit.
It was my turn to try to overtake him, but this time, I take it... ON THE OUTSIDE. I managed to put my kart a bit in front of him, and on the tight corner, I brake, swerve the kart and I'm now directly in front of him. I conquered 2nd place! A la Ayrton Senna! The guy is now COMPLETELY ****ed up to the point of bumping me full force about 2 or 3 times (typical of whoever gets owned). I then said: YOU HAD IT COMING, YOU SORRY ASS.
After that, smooth race, and the leader spun off, giving me just enough time to overtake him and win the race. Oh, and the ****tard that didn't want to be overtaken? Ended in 3rd.
Not only did I OWNED that guy pretty badly, but I also paid tribute to one of the greatest drivers ever: Ayrton Senna
That ownage never felt SO GOOD in my entire life
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Post by DeltaMustang65 on Aug 22, 2007 23:34:47 GMT -5
Sounds like that guy could use an ettiquitte lesson.
Oh, remember the crack-whore from my last rant. She was admitted again on monday. I wheeled her up on the gurney from ER to her room. A few nurses joked that she treats the hospital like a hotel, and at least one was visibly pissed that the patient was back.
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Post by nightmare75 on Aug 22, 2007 23:58:06 GMT -5
I love go-karts. It's really too bad that I don't get to do that more often. I remember last time I went to a go kart track. It was a slow day, so they were letting singles go out in the two-person karts. Of course, at the time, I weighed like 120 pounds (I'm considerably bigger now... it's been a while). But anyway, I had an engine designed to carry 400 pounds of ballast or so quickly and had less than half that. Needless to say, that baby was cookin' with just me in it. It was on a track that had mostly wide corners, and the light weight and suspension designed for way more weight allowed me to do all of the corners without braking (I had to lift the throttle in one, but the rest were flat-out).
I owned everyone else pretty hard. I even lapped a bunch of people.
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Post by shipwreck22 on Aug 23, 2007 0:16:33 GMT -5
It would be cool if you could put N-Grade tires on the karts and DRIFT, DRIFT BABY.(<-- no clue where that came from)
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Post by IGNIGNOC on Aug 23, 2007 3:47:29 GMT -5
<-- no idea here, either!  Also, awesome shiznite with the go-karts. I wish that we had more of them and that they would go faster than 25mph. I want one with a 20hp 2-stroke and a 2spd transmission. That would pwn SO hard... Rolf and Ken, I love watching nature's best on display, especially when it seems that I'm the only one who's looking. It's like "PSST! Hey, Mike, this is just for YOU!!" *enjoys* |
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Post by cleopatra on Aug 28, 2007 20:07:16 GMT -5
#27
OK for the record Nem ask me to do this, here goes.
When I was 8 years old. I was of course at school( I went 2 a small private school where 1st grade- 12 grade had breaks together but of course we all kinda did our own thing) and there was this guy(HE WAS IN 12th grade) who liked to pick on me. He would do it like evey day for what reason I don't know. I think it was cause he knew I would end up crying but anyway finally I had enough and I wasn't going 2 take it anymore. SOooooooo i made a Kitty litter sandwich for him. It had mustard, mayo, lettuce, tomato, and KITTY LITTER. And this wasn't just any kitty litter it was USED kitty litter and I waited till after our cat used it to make it. I used the scoop though. Anyway I brought it to school the next day and gave it to him AND HE TOOK A BITE OUT OF IT AND SWALLOWED. then he realized what it was but by that time my big sister had showed up with all of her friends and there was nothing he could do to me. Needless to say HE NEVER MESSED WITH ME AGAIN.
SCORE
Amber 9000
Bully ZERO
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Post by nightmare75 on Aug 28, 2007 23:10:30 GMT -5
I believe that your score was OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by IGNIGNOC on Aug 29, 2007 1:08:22 GMT -5
Amber: OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAND!!1
Bully: PWN3D, BIZNATCH!!1
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The Moast. Evil. EVAR. (next to Viper, that is...)
