/cinema
The camera pans down, showing a moonlit, fog-shrouded graveyard, complete with creepy trees and distant dogs howling...
Suddenly, the camera zooms in towards one of the headstones just as a rotting, greenish colored fist bursts through the loose earth!
The horrid creature, once apparently rather short and a little on the fat side, emerges from the ground slowly, making a gut-wrenching "Uhgggnnn..." noise and shuffling slowly towards the camera, blotting out the scene.
*Opening credits roll*
The camera opens up on a group of unsuspecting people, sitting around a message board BSing about GT4. They seem rather content, having had their fair share of coffee and donuts for the day, and are just beginning to discuss their latest in-game distraction when...
*Long minutes, then hours and days go by and nothing happens.*
Suddenly (if two weeks late can be considered "suddenly" at all), the door is broken down and the putrid monster from the opening scene is standing in the shattered frame!
[Monster:] "Unnggghhh..."
['Ring Boards:] *staring squinty-eyed and scrutinizingly at the monster, but not at all afraid* "You look familiar..."
[Monster:] "Unggghhhh...!" *the monster shakes a very broken-looking DFP he carries in his hand*
['Ring Boards:] "Good God, you stink! Get the hell out before we have to relocate again!"
*The 'Ring Board regulars take up cans of bug spray and Bic lighters and begin advancing on the hapless and now impossibly confused corpse. He gestures plaintively with the shattered gaming wheel, then the scene fades to black.*
*End credits roll*
/cinema end
Heh. Hope nobody minds the drama, but I just happened to pick up GT4 again a little while ago and figured I should stop in and say "Hi". As it seems like anyone who matters (read: anyone who will remember me) is both here and on GameFAQs, I figured this would be as good a place as any, and I couldn't resist a 'Ring Diary writeup...
Apologies for anyone who views this as being too long, though; I'm not *trying* to be a jerk, that's just the way I am.
Now, let's get on to my WR review and see if anyone can guess who I
was...
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Ruf 3400S '00 Weekend RiderStock (Arcade Mode), N2 Tires, Nannies Off
Having long since driven my DFP into the dust, I'm forced to use my RPG-only wireless controller, which (beyond eating batteries like a mofo) is afflicted in both the left analog stick and all of the buttons on the right side with a severe case of "My stupid mother-in-law spilled some sort of crunk on it and nothing I've done has been able to fix it". As such, I've been having an insanely difficult time doing such basic tasks as getting silver on all the license tests and actually passing DM23.
As such, it was with a bit of trepidation that I set out to give the ol' Ruf a try, as my 'Ring time has been rather limited and my controller really is *that* unreliable. Seriously, I failed one of the first 10 DMs...
I debated about actually running on S2s just to compare my times to everyone elses, but I figured that'd probably just make me sadder. As such, I stuck with N2s and took extra-special care to curse my mother-in-law to the blackest pits of Hell for wrecking my controller before I set out.
Author's Note: I'm not actually this upset, because it *was* an accident, and she apologized, but it's the only gag I got this time around, so I'm gonna run with it.
Holy balls, does that Ruf handle nice. I'd forgotten how nice it was, as I think it's been since GT3 that I've actually driven one. Certainly tamer than its older brothers (BTR/CTR) and big sis (RGT). The CTR2 doesn't count; it's the
Sloth of the Ruf world.
First lap was pretty cautious, but license-test clean, clocking in at ~8'10 or so. After the twisty bits in the second half of the course went by without a hitch, I figured I could push a little harder on the second lap, and sure enough, I did. Had a bit of a fender-scrape down by hotel, but nothing that would have wrecked the car in the real world. 8'08.x on that one, and still some more to be gained.
Despite how truly balanced and poised the 3400S is, if you don't drive it well, it's pretty powerless to save you. It can't start braking before you hit the brakes... It can't start turning before you move the wheel. It can't make Miss-Hit-Miss any darn straighter like it is in stupid Forza (that damn game has ruined my ability to drive the 'Ring in GT4).
After a few aborted restarts and *maybe* one or two actual good runs, I finally got a satisfactory result: 8'04.986, with one armco-whacking bobble right before the last turn. I *know* I lost at least a second there, and I *know* I'm stupidly rusty...
Which means I *know* this is a sub-8'00 car. I don't think I'll be able to get it there, though. Maybe 8'02, but certainly not 7'59.
On the bright side, the 30-Second Rule says I'm still as fast as most of the old-guard...
PS: It
is a sub-8'00 car, right? Maybe 7'50 flat? It certainly
feels like it should be going a lot faster than I'm driving it...
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Nice to see everyone again, and I'll be stopping by (probably *very* infrequently) to say hello. At the very least, I want to see if anyone can guess who I am.
Later, all, and take care.
