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Post by latino1ny on Jun 13, 2008 23:28:57 GMT -5
Lupin - That girl is hott... does she have any nudes?
Delta - maybe the dude with the "team gaijin" sticker on his car is meant for his car... maybe he forgets his car is foreign and doesn't wanna look like a douche when he goes to the parts store to buy his NAWZZZ stickers... and his engine dress up kit and everything else worthless to all car-kind. So maybe he puts gaijin on his car to remind him that his car is foreign and not domestic.
V-TEC still rocks... you know, VTEC is short for "variable valve timing and lift electronic control" It's a valvetrain system developed by Honda to improve the volumetric efficiency of a four-stroke internal combustion engine. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VTEC)
Now... my BMW has what's called the VANOS system... It's short for "Variable Nockenwellen Steuerung" VANOS is an automobile variable valve timing technology developed by BMW. It varies the timing of the valves by moving the position of the camshafts in relation to the drive gear. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VANOS)
My BMW has the VANOS... much like the VTEC, only WAY more advanced. I actually think I might have the double VANOS since I have the M52TU engine. (Not too sure though)
Mack... that Italian joke was ROFLMAO... I've never seen it before and it made me lol. About your santa joke though...
How do you know Santa doesn't have any kids???
Because he only comes once a year, and it's always down the chimney.
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MacktasticSlick
Throttlehog
My friend drove his McLaren F1 from New York to Chicago and got there before he left.
Posts: 705
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Post by MacktasticSlick on Jun 14, 2008 0:18:42 GMT -5
^Yeah, I was reaching for some strings with that last one.
Anyway...
Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of St. Peter
at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. She asked,
"What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said Hillary, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she
never told a lie."
"Incredible," said Hillary. "And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved
twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Bill's clock?" asked Hillary.
"Bill's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
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Post by ½ A Gram on Jun 14, 2008 1:00:14 GMT -5
OHHH!
Got this from Rambo, used it in a bullshit session with my friends.
"Hey, I like your mom"
"I didn't knwo you liked the oldies"
"liked your sister more"
"Yeah, she's got a bit of a thing for retards, and small dicks"
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MacktasticSlick
Throttlehog
My friend drove his McLaren F1 from New York to Chicago and got there before he left.
Posts: 705
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Post by MacktasticSlick on Jun 14, 2008 1:29:37 GMT -5
Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.
His wife was really angry. She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds - AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"
The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house. Thinking of keys to a new car, she opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
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Post by Pegasus on Jun 14, 2008 18:26:18 GMT -5
LMAO Mack, those are hilarious!
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MacktasticSlick
Throttlehog
My friend drove his McLaren F1 from New York to Chicago and got there before he left.
Posts: 705
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Post by MacktasticSlick on Jun 15, 2008 0:02:55 GMT -5
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a second, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says...
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then..." he said with a deep sigh...
"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
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Post by DeltaMustang65 on Jun 15, 2008 1:11:43 GMT -5
Awesome! A dumb blonde joke I haven't heard. Upshift'd.
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MacktasticSlick
Throttlehog
My friend drove his McLaren F1 from New York to Chicago and got there before he left.
Posts: 705
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Post by MacktasticSlick on Jun 15, 2008 1:35:04 GMT -5
Sweet!
What gets longer when pulled, fits between a woman's breasts, inserts neatly in a hole and works best when jerked?
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Post by ½ A Gram on Jun 15, 2008 1:58:16 GMT -5
a key? LOL the obvious answer can't be it.
also, upshift'd for blonde joke even I haven't heard of.
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MacktasticSlick
Throttlehog
My friend drove his McLaren F1 from New York to Chicago and got there before he left.
Posts: 705
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Post by MacktasticSlick on Jun 15, 2008 18:12:53 GMT -5
No, it's not a key...
Anybody?
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Post by ½ A Gram on Jun 15, 2008 20:10:27 GMT -5
Well, i'll get the obvious answer out of the way then.
A pen0r?
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Post by Pegasus on Jun 15, 2008 20:10:39 GMT -5
A rubber band?
LOL, same time post!
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Post by ½ A Gram on Jun 15, 2008 20:11:16 GMT -5
how does a rubber band insert neatly into a hole?
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Post by Pegasus on Jun 15, 2008 20:13:06 GMT -5
I dunno, I just took a guess. It was the first thing that came to my mind.
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Post by latino1ny on Jun 15, 2008 21:14:08 GMT -5
+1 for the blonde joke, it was hilarious.
Whats the answer to the riddle mack?
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